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Submitted on
April 11, 2011
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I am about to die, about to cease to exist.

And I am not afraid.

As I wait for the moment when my tenuous tie to life is snipped, as I wait to grasp the elusive idea of death, I feel so alive.

The sky is bright and blue- the kind of sky for happy days- and nowhere can I find the bleak gray horizon that should accompany battle.

The air is sweet and delicious, tasting of delicate little wildflowers and new spring grass, and I cannot smell gunpowder or death yet.

And this moment, the one before all others are stolen, may be the most lovely scene I have ever set eyes on.

The brave boys are running towards us, towards me. They scream a ghastly sound and it sends shivers up my spine to hear how they believe in what they fight for- even if not in words. They are a ragtag bunch, clad in clashing shades of gray, and decorated with stains of dirt and blood.

Their banner flaps and cracks in a definitive way, proudly, and it  is beautiful.

All those men- all those beings: men and mere boys together- running and holding onto their cause. And even though I don't agree with the cause, their cause, it is beautiful.

I am about to die for mine, and they for their's. A lovely, though ironic, sort of equality at the end. Because we are really the same, I think.

And I will die under my banner, flapping in the wind, beneath that peaceful blue sky- and he will die under his, under that same darling sky.

Such a scene of brutal beauty, it would be a sin to ruin it with fire.
Now which war could this be referring to??
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My piece for :iconthewrittenrevolution:'s Prompt "Write about something ugly, but find the beauty in it".
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:iconthewrittenrevolution:
Critique:
:bulletred: Does this cause emotion?
:bulletwhite: Does it make sense?
:bulletblue: Flow well?
:bulletred: Entertaining?
:bulletwhite: Thought provoking?
:bulletblue: Overall enjoyable?

and anything else you want to mention!
-------------------------
#theWrittenRevolution Critique: [link]
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:iconrednight4872:
rednight4872 Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
For your critique request, yes to all. I think that it is a marvelous piece, though I might have to disagree with it being ugly at all. What could be more beautiful than many people fighting together or against each other for a cause they find righteous? I think that the only true dream, is a dream you are willing to die for, and if you don't think you can die for your dream then it is but a glimmer.
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:iconsunnyblueday:
SunnyBlueDay Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I am a sucker for the whole military thing, but yet- when people close to me get involved, I don't want them to- greedy of me, eh?

:D
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:iconrednight4872:
rednight4872 Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
IMO, I don't believe in fighting with guns or knives. I believe in fighting with words or fists. All a gun proves is that someone is a coward, and a knife makes things to easy and can be unfair. But someone that is fighting with words can show true knowledge, and someone fighting with their fists can show true will power.
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:iconsunnyblueday:
SunnyBlueDay Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
let's win our wars through debates!!
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:iconrednight4872:
rednight4872 Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I wouldn't be a bad idea if I can get the rest of the world to agree with it. [link] I'll add it to my speech and blog. ^_^
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:iconsunnyblueday:
SunnyBlueDay Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
:D sweet blog, the standardized language would be an issue- i am an advocate for everyone learning latin, since it is a dead language it would be fair
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:iconrednight4872:
rednight4872 Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
It would be fair, but it would also be harder to teach to everyone, let alone get them to agree on it. I may love Latin and Japanese, but I was thinking about what would be best and easiest for the general populous.
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:iconsunnyblueday:
SunnyBlueDay Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
true- i just always have had this feeling we should all elanr latin, perhaps because i want to be able to speak it haha
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(1 Reply)
:iconallthelittlekeys:
AllTheLittleKeys Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2011  Student Writer
I will admit; I greatly disliked this. (Initially I wrote hate but that is so severe and to an extent, untrue)
But then I continued reading; the moment boys are mentioned this entire piece is new.

It does cause emotion, effectively a strong sense of pity.
It does make sense although I really feel a very stark contrast between the introduction and the core of the body, as though half way through intended thought you broke off. Perhaps the beginning could allude a bit more to the means of the poem. It all seems a bit of a self-pitying suicide contemplation, ironic seeing as though wore is practically glorified suicide when you consider the common outcome.
It is entertaining; the thought of pride and glory and selflessness that blends men and boys a very wonderful little tidbit.
I do apologize if perhaps my critique may have been harsh in some form, there is no means of malice and negativity just a blunt statement. :)
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:iconsunnyblueday:
SunnyBlueDay Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Don't feel bad- I'm very open to hearing negative responces, too ;) Otherwise I wouldn't get better :heart:

I was actually portraying war purposefully in a war I don't comletely agree with, I am doing a big research paper on how Americans overly romanticize war and glorify the cause of dying for your country and noble causes- so I tried to portray more the American idea of war than my own.

I will defintiley work on those negative comments, like the disjointed intro and core.

If I didn't like people being blunt, then Simon Cowell wouldn't be my fav American Idol judge ever ;) I can take it :giggle:
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